Praise you Father!, Thank you Jesus!…First of all I want to start by mentioning that it is through this Mabole prayer meeting that our faith started to strengthen. My name is Dinusha Deemanthi Kalupahana and I am a 21 year old girl currently residing in the USA with my family: Mom, Dad, Two sisters and brother. During the beginning days of September 2011, I fell very ill. I felt massive pressure on my head, with a really bad pain and constant throwing up. All these symptoms hit me at the same time along with a backache. My parents were constantly taking me to the emergency room as I was screaming with pain all the time. I was in the emergency room all most every other day. Yet, no good came out of any of these visits to the hospital. Firstly, I have to mention that I had a brain surgery due to a growing archanoid cyst on the left temporal lobe of my brain. Since major blood vessels were connected to the cyst, the surgeons found it impossible to remove the cyst. Instead they drained the cyst out during the surgery and placed a shunt (a tube running from the brain to the abdominal cavity) to continue draining out the cyst if it were to get filled again. This year, every time I was taken to the emergency room, the doctors and the hospital staff performed CAT scans and other tests on me such as the spinal tap (puncturing the lower end of the spinal chord to obtain some Cerebral Spinal Fluid for testing purposes), to ensure my shunt is working correctly and to look for any abnormalities in my head. But all these exams and tests performed in several hospitals showed no problems with my health but my pains were still there. No one was able to give a clear diagnosis of my painful condition.
It was during this time that my mom informed her sister, Malani Samarakoon, of this situation. She at once got in touch with a friend of her son by the name Romesh and inquired about the Mabole meetings’ website information. We were also provided with the website information for the Supuwath Arana, and brother Charles prayer group meetings. Right away my mom started to listen to these websites at home through the web. She started joining the prayer meeting as well. This was during the middle of the month of October. I was always lying on my bed constantly screaming with massive pain. At this point the doctors had told me that they couldn’t find out what was wrong with me and that I should start seeing a therapist for possible depression. When my mom started playing these websites at home, I couldn’t bear to listen because my pains would increase to any sort of a sound. But my mom didn’t give up. She continued to insist that I listen to it. I have always loved music: dancing, singing, listening to music: I love it all. One day, I heard a beautiful melody and I didn’t realize that the Mabole meeting’s website was its source. So my defenses were not up as I continued to listen to it, I started hearing the word being sung with the word of the melody. Before I even realized that this was a hymn, before I got defensive and put my guards up, the words of the hymn hit me. The words pierced right through my chest and found their way to my closed up heart. I started tearing; it hurt my head to cry. But I continued to sob on my sick bed. The hymn had me mesmerized and the words said it all. I realized that the unconditional love, forgiveness, and guidance of God is not just an idea or an abstract, His LOVE, FORGIVENESS, and GUIDANCE is real, VERY REALL!! I couldn’t believe how open to love my heart felt, how I didn’t have to work hard to break up those walls I had built around my heart to guard it. I just had to let go, get lost in God’s words, and God found his way through those walls to my heart and filled me with love. As if he had been waiting and waiting to grab the opportunity that I would welcome His presence. As I realized that my Lord’s Love, forgives and Guidance are real, I also realized that I really am a sinner. This feeling of being a sinner felt very real, the repressed feelings, memories were back in my conscious. I realized how unworthy I am of his love, unconditional love. I have never felt such unconditional love, through out these 21 years of my life. I was used to receiving love as a reward for how “good” I was being. The moment I displeased someone, I lost their love! But here my God is already showering me with his love, when I have done so many wrong doings that have displeased him! The thought was unbearable and I continued to sob. As I was sobbing I felt a relief, a rush. I can compare it to the rush and the care free thoughts I felt when the doctors injected me with morphine to reduce my pain, only difference was this rush I felt on my bed in God’s presence was filled with emotions that I had refused to feel for a long time. My mom came into the room to ask if I liked the hymn. When she saw me crying, she came to my side and hugged me and encouraged me to feel the emotions I was feeling. After this incident I began to eat about once a day as my nausea improved, walk round my home on my own. As my condition was improving, I began to join the adoration of the Blessed Sacrament held by Lalith Thatha and Father Darrell on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. During one of the adorations held by Lalith Thatha on Tuesday, there was a word of knowledge that through the condition of a child’s head, the lord has taken her entire family under his arms. I was still in doubt that the Lord could talk to a sinner like me. Yet my mom claimed the word of knowledge for me. Deep inside my heart I knew that the lord was talking to me because I have a brain cyst, had a brain surgery in 2007 and a tube placed in from my head to the abdominal cavity during the surgery. During all this somehow my family has come closer to God. After the word of knowledge, I saw a change in my family. We were becoming more faithful and talked so much about the love of God at home. For the first time I saw my health condition as a blessing rather than a curse to myself and my family. About a week later there was another word of knowledge stating that a girl with depression is having severe nausea and headaches. I knew that the lord was speaking to me again. About two weeks later father Darrel gave a word of knowledge that a young girl abroad participating the adoration through the web is dealing with lost hope and suffering from depression. She has thoughts about ending her existence. But the lord is asking her to give the ownership of the past to him and he will do great things through her. I started to cry because I realized that my Lord was speaking to me again and again. God was not letting me go without a chase. After this I started having many dreams where I was constantly pleading God to forgive me.
During this time period, my right eye got misaligned. Out of the blue I started having cross-eyed vision. My therapist told me that it was due to depression and it will get cured once I pass through the depression phase. One Friday morning (December 9th, 2011) I woke up from a dream. When I opened my eyes after the dream, I instantly knew I have to see an ophthalmologist. I informed my mom about this and though I was in no physical state to go alone, I found the strength to somehow do it on my own since my parents were busy that day. After several examinations, the ophthalmologist informed me that my optic nerves are swollen and is the cause for my cross eyed vision. He advised me to go immediately to the emergency room as I was at the risk of loosing my sight permanently. The very next morning (December 10th) my dad took me to the emergency room. Once there, my Neurosurgeon, Neurologist, Ophthalmologist and the Neuro ophthalmologist did several, CAT scans, MRI scans, X-rays and other tests on me. They evaluated me and concluded that my brain might be either producing excessive amounts of CSF (Cerebral Spinal Fluid) or the necessary amount of CSF was not being drained out. My health was under immediate risk. The very next day (December 13th) I had a brain surgery done to drain out CSF to experiment because the doctors were not sure what should be done. Right after this surgery, my vision became normal and the misalignment in my right eye had corrected itself. Even the clogged feeling in my ears had disappeared. After keeping me in the Intensive Care Unit for about five days, the surgeons decided to place a permanent shunt in one of my ventricles in the brain to continue draining out the excessive CSF. This surgery was done on the 16th of December. After being discharged from the hospital, I continued to see quick recovery. I started going to my appointments alone with the strength of God because he was always with me, every step of the way. I am writing this on the 20th of January 2012.
I would have never guessed there was more to come. On the 26th of January I went for my check ups with my Neuro-Ophthalmologist and my Neuro-surgeon. During the check ups and the scans, both the doctors advised me that the tube they had placed in December had stopped working and once again I was at the immediate risk of loosing my vision. My doctor wanted to admit me in to the hospital immediately and perform yet another brain surgery to replace the tube. I was alone when I was informed of this. I felt warm tears flow down my cheeks and my heart was beating fast. I could not understand why I was having one brain surgery after another. This was to be my fourth brain surgery since 2007. I called my parents immediately and informed them that I was to be admitted. I tried to reason with my doctors and see if I could wait a little longer before this surgery. But he explained to me that the excessive CSF in my brain is putting excessive pressure on my optic nerves causing the damage. So I went through with it as the doctors advised me. I felt immense pain in my heart because there was no one with me. After waking up from the surgery I realized that I was in so much pain and started crying. In the midst of this pain, I realized that even though my earthly parents could not physically be there with me, my spiritual family was always there. I went back to see my surgeon on the 5th of March. He informed that my new shunt is working correctly and I can slowly resume to me normal life. Praise the Lord! My father in heaven proved that he is the solution to the impossible. I felt just a glimpse of how much more Jesus might have suffered. Also my spiritual mother, Mother Mary was always with me, even in places that my mother couldn’t go to.
How I met Jesus
The experimental surgery done on the 13th of December is the most memorable experience of my life. The Neurosurgeons put me to deep sleep before the surgery. But during the surgery I woke up to experience the worst pain I have ever felt. The doctors were still operating on my brain, and they continued to inject me with sedatives to put me back to sleep. But nothing was working. I was screaming with intense pain. I pleaded and begged the surgeons to give me what ever they can to get me unconscious. But nothing they gave me worked and I continued to stay conscious. Finally one of the surgeons came to my side and said, “I am really sorry but we don’t know why the sedatives are not working. Here hold my hands and press hard into them.” He took his gloves off and took both of my hands in his, holding them very tight. I was screaming with pain as I felt the surgeons doing something painful to my head. The surgeon by my side asked me to dig my hands in to his as hard as I can to lessen the pain. But confused with intense pain I felt paralyzed. He continued to hold my hands very tight looking deep into my teary eyes. Eventually I felt the surgeons operating on my brain starting to put stitches to bring my skull together. All of a sudden I stopped screaming. Even though I was feeling immense pain, I realized that I was feeling much peace deep within me. I felt as though I was not experiencing this pain by myself. My heart was resting in peace. During the last few stitches the intensity of the peace I felt increased with love, I became numb to the pain. I started to cry because my heart was now glowing with love and peace. Right after the stitches were done and the surgeons said my parents can see me, I felt a switch in the way I was feeling. I felt like I had been resting during the entire process and I had just now returned to my body. When my parents saw me they said I looked like I had a good sleep.
It’s hard to feel happiness and pleasure through an experience like that, but I felt it. I would go through this experience again if I had to. I thank you lord for being so patient with me and never giving up one. I have only seen a glimpse of what your love can do for me. With in a few seconds you have the ability to turn my whole life around and turn. Through all these experiences I have learned to not ask you for what I want lord, instead to give you the ownership of every thing in my life because I know you are doing what is best for me. You will give me everything I need at the right time. I will continue to thank you for my hands, legs, vision, hearing, my brain, my family and all the curses I have brought upon myself through my wrong doings which only you have turned into blessings. I suffered for so long unable to eat, talk, laugh, walk, sit or even sleep. Doctors had no clue of what was wrong. You my God saved me and healed me! Now I see that you are not done with me. I thank you for giving my mother the strength needed to continue to bring me closer to you. I love you my father in heaven, my sweet Jesus, and my holy mother. My life and soul belongs to you forever!
Dinusha Deemanthi Kalupahana